That abandonment from childhood. That abusive marriage. That miscarriage. That abortion. The loss of your mother. The rejection from your child. Not getting the dream job. Always being a bridesmaid and never a bride. Losing your home. COVID.
Sis, take a moment and sit in the fact that YOU SURVIVED.
You’re still breathing. Although you felt like dying, it didn’t kill you. You made it through, sometimes barely.
Let’s talk about WHY you made it through. Can we take a moment and examine the possibility that nothing you went through had anything to do with you? The possibility that your pain is indeed your purpose? That now you’re on the other side, and it is your duty to pay it forward?
I am a victim of sexual, physical, verbal, emotional and domestic abuse. For years I struggled with the ‘why me’ syndrome. I couldn’t understand how all of these things could happen to me, especially those traumas when I was a small girl. Was I bad? Had I done something wrong? Was I unworthy of love? Did God hate me? Did He not hear my cries? Would it ever get better?
At 38 years old I realized that the pain I was suffering was not a punishment. In fact, it was far from it. My pain was there to push me into purpose; my pain was meant to press me forward; my pain was birthed to push me into His presence; my pain was the precursor to my destiny.
But Queen, that makes no sense! How could that much pain, that much struggle, mean anything good? I’m glad you asked.
After one of the hardest experiences of my life, I asked God why. I screamed it, with all of the pain in my belly. I was waiting on Him to yell some loud, prolific answer back to me. Instead, He simply replied ‘ALL’, and led me to Romans 8:28 (go read that one on your own). Y’all, I ain’t gone lie. That pissed me all the way off. Like seriously Lord, You tryna tell me that all this is working for my good? Maybe this isn’t You speaking after all.
It took some time, but I began to understand that had it not been for the pain I’d experienced, I couldn’t walk a young girl through the trauma of molestation; I couldn’t understand the shame felt by a rape victim; I couldn’t deal with the abandonment and rejection issues raised when parents don’t get it right; I couldn’t walk a woman out of the prison of her pain. Essentially, without all those experiences, I wouldn’t be able to do my life’s work, my passion , my calling. I wouldn’t be able to speak of God’s grace, His favor, His protection. I wouldn’t be a living example that no matter how bad it gets, you CAN and WILL make it through.
I get it. You didn’t ask for this. Frankly, you would have been just fine without any of it. I know. It has been hard, and at times, it may be even harder. I have learned throughout the years that the pain eased remarkably for me when I used it to speak to another. When the memory of my tears helped ease the tears of one of my sisters. When my story lit the path to freedom simply because I’d already paved the way. When I could warn my daughter of the pitfalls because I’d already experienced them for her. Sharing your story may very well be the light that saves a life, soothes a soul, or clears a path.
You wouldn’t dare leave them in the dark now, would you??
